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[quote=Anonymous]My aunt's father (my aunt by marriage, so not a blood relative) used to tease the kids and tell and everyone, "You're ugly!" It would send me and my cousins in giggles and laughter. We knew he was just joking. However, my aunt was a bit obsessed with "beauty." She would say aloud all the time when looking at other women, "She's sooo beautiful." Or she would make comments, "She has such a beuuuutiful face."

Well, we are all Italian-American. We tended to look very ethnic, not blonde-haired and blue eyed with tiny button noses. I was born in 1969. In the 70s and 80s, Christy Brinkely was the standard of All American beauty.

At the same time, women of Italian ethnicity were always thought of as beautiful by some standards, like Sophia Loren, Luigia "Gina" Lollobrigida, and then Monica Belluci. They were in very sexual roles, though, not the girl next door.

Anyway, my aunt would never say that we girls in the family were "beautiful." It never really bothered me, because I didn't think my aunt was very intelligent.

I did grow up not all knowing whether I was attractive or not.

I don't mean this at all in a weird way. When I had my first teaching job, the second grade teacher walked me into the classroom I would be teaching. And the first thing one of the girls said was, "You're pretty." And then throughout my career, I had people who accused me of "using my looks" to get ahead, which I found laughable. I have had people tell me off-handedly, that I was "beautiful," and it completed shocked me. LoL.

Does a woman know she's attractive because of feedback from the outside world? Or what does she think of herself?

I know that I'm well-groomed when I leave my house. I've styled my hair usually in some way. I've brushed my teeth. I'm usually wearing some mascara and tinted sunscreen and lip gloss. My clothes look okay. It's not something I spend much time thinking about. I'm not in a profession where I have to focus so much on my looks. [/quote]

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