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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am surprised how many people think 9:30 is late on a school night for older teenagers.
One son has a club that doesn’t even get out until 9 PM. His lacrosse practice is every other night until 7:30.
The other has tennis until 5 or 6, and meets friends at the gym and exercise from 6:30-8:30 PM
High schoolers have odd schedules, and 9:30 isn’t “late”.
(And yes, they have 3.8 GPAs - I know, low by DCUM standards but not bad for the rest of society). They get their homework done, and still have time for clubs, sports, and friends. [/quote]

It's late enough for teen sex and teen pregnancy, is what we mean, PP. You should get this without us having to spell it out.
The later they hang out, the worse it gets.
This has nothing to do with evening activities. My 12 year old's orchestra gets out at 9pm. Not the same thing at all!

[/quote]

Thank you for clarifying that teen sex only happens after 9pm outside of school activities. Thank you for spelling this out for us. Your 12 year old will NOT be a team parent!![/quote]

I did not say that. I said it gets worse the later it is. And I'm right.

My 12 year old will probably not be a team parent, you are correct.

[/quote]

The time doesn't matter, the presence of parents does. [b]It sounds like OP is present for these hang outs, [/b]so why the fixation with the time?[/quote]

No, it doesn't.[/quote]
OP here. Sorry I wasn’t clear. I am HOME when she is over, as is my husband and other son. One of us may need to run an errand but someone is home. She eats dinner with us. They watch movies in the living room. Or play candy crush. Or watch stupid tick tick.  I can hear them. 
And it’s not every night. It’s like 1-2 weeknights and 1-2 weekend nights, depends on everyone’s schedules.
It would have made more sense for him to get our contact information from her mother and reach out to us if he had any concerns or wanted to meet us.
Before this visit, I already knew she rarely saw him, and that he really wasn’t in her life. I don’t think this was his night to have her by any stretch.
He lives at least 45 miles away - this was calculated and he could have attempted to let us know he was stopping by.
But I can understand a concerned parent overreacting and jumping to conclusions. Good to get a different perspective. And yes, teenagers do get easily upset. I just felt bad for her.
[b]And honestly, if they’re going to have sex, I can’t stop it.[/b] They could be getting busy in her car in the school parking lot. But I am not making it easy just by allowing them to watch movies in the living room while I’m home. [/quote]

You'll be 50% responsible, though.  [/quote]
I’d be 0% responsible since I would not be having sex with either of them. My son would be 50% responsible. [/quote]

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