Reply to I cannot stop feeling so deeply angry at someone

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, what helped me let go of deep anger was to repeatedly interrupt the cycle of thinking about it. Seriously, when you start to think about it you need to consciously change your focus and find something to do.

When I would start to ruminate I reframed it and focused on/actively tell myself 1) I can't change what has happened in the past, but I have the opportunity to change how it affects my present and future 2) I can do kind things for myself in the present and future, including only allowing people who treat me well to be in my life and caring for my body. 3) Be curious about the conditions where I find myself thinking about it. Is it when I am bored? Is it when something else has happened that was upsetting? Is it when I feel bad about myself? What is the story I am telling myself about this and how can I make it more accurate (therapy helps with this) 4) Every day that I pivot from focusing on the past to doing something kind for my future self is an a radical act of self love.

For months this meant every time I thought about it I would get up, change my scenery (walk a lap around the office building, go to another room, go around the block), move my body for a few minutes, and make a list of 5 things that day I was grateful for.[/quote]

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