Reply to DH won't let DS (11) attend camps

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My sons are both in college — one a graduating senior, the other a sophomore. They never went to sleepaway camps, only day camps. They had friends who went to sleepaway. They also had friends who went to Europe for the whole summer. They didn’t get to do that either. They’re fine! They are well adjusted, tons of friends, the whole thing was and is fine, really. Your husband has his own reasons for feeling strongly about protecting your child from something he fears, and it may or may not be rational but I don’t think going to sleepaway camp is a hill to die on if it is going to result in a ton of anxiety and stress for your husband.

I assume he isn’t this way about everything…if there are multiple things like this, that might be a different story[/quote]

Yeah, I think this is the way.

I have sent my kids to sleepaway camp, but I've also avoided overnights with a relative I don't really trust. Some of these decisions are just instinct. If you're stunting your child's development or not preparing him to fend for himself in the real world, that's one thing, but if you're just not a sleepaway camp family, that's fine. Even though my kids have done them, they didn't really like them and would have been fine to miss it altogether.

I'm a Girl Scout leader, and we do overnights as part of teaching independence. Of course, we are background checked and there must always been two unrelated adult chaperones, and men must sleep 300 yards away or whatever the rule is. But my philosophy has always been to let families opt in, or out, of whatever they feel works for them. If the parent wants to attend the sleepover, fine. I don't know everyone's histories or situations and I just trust that girls will get something out of it, however it works out. I also stress that girls are welcome to wake me up and ask to go home at any time . . . they are never stuck sleeping anywhere they don't want to be.

We can't protect our kids from everything, but that doesn't mean we don't try to protect them from what we can. Maybe a non-judgmental conversation with your husband could explore some kind of compromise that might be within your husband's comfort zone and also appealing to your son.[/quote]

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