Reply to Best age for child to have parents divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Certain studies have shown that [b]daughters of divorced parents have a 60 percent higher divorce rate in marriages [/b]than children of non-divorced parents while sons have a 35 percent higher rate.

Research shows that children of divorce are more likely to experience a divorce themselves. Personal skills theory and commitment and confidence theory are two dominant theories to explain this increased divorce risk.

It's definitely having some effect.  Some families have legacies of divorce.  Nearly every marriage down the line ends in divorce.  I know families where the parents divorced and every single one of the children's marriages ultimately ended in divorce too.

The confidence and commitment theory states that children observing and experiencing their parents’ divorce leads to a [b]reduced commitment to the institution of marriage [/b]and lower confidence in the ability of marriages to remain intact long-term. Considerable research supports this finding. Divorce researcher Judith Wallerstein explains the phenomenon this way: “...at young adulthood when love, sexual intimacy, commitment and marriage take center stage, children of divorce are haunted by the ghosts of their parents’ divorce and terrified that the same fate awaits them” (Wallerstein, 2005, p. 409). Interestingly, the finding breaks down by sex. One study found that while engaged women whose parents divorced reported lowered relationship commitment and reduced confidence in their own upcoming marriages, the same was not true for men. Researchers note that “experiencing a parental divorce appears to have a stronger impact on women’s than men’s desires and beliefs about the future of their own marriages” (Whitton, 2009, p.4). [b]Women’s lack of confidence in marriage leads to higher divorce rates.[/b]

Children of divorce are at risk of responding to their fear of divorce in one of two ways. Some dive headlong into inappropriate, unformed relationships as a counter-phobic response to their fears. Others avoid relationships altogether, and when in relationships, maintain a mindset akin to waiting for the other shoe to drop. They struggle to believe in the strength of relationships to weather difficult stretches, and many arrive ill-equipped to address a relationship’s most potent challenges[/quote]

Good for them!  Single women live longer and healthier lives, there are studies about that too.[/quote]

Please advise your daughter never to marry then.  [/quote]

I’m not the post you are responding to, but I am absolutely advising that my daughters never get married because it is not a good deal for them at all.[/quote]

ARe you advising them not to have children as well, or to raise them as a single parent?[/quote]

I am advising them to never get married. If they want a child, I would recommend that they use a sperm donor. Having a man control the rest of your life if that is the child’s father and you don’t get along is a freaking nightmare. We divorce laws are now you are tether to that person for life and you can never make your own decisions for 21 years at least. Absolutely do not recommend having a child with a father that you know because you don’t have any control over your life or how that child is raised. I would only suggest they have children if they truly truly want them and it’s absolutely not necessary to have a happy life.[/quote]

Christ. You should never had children.  [/quote]

It was not the plan. But the problem isn’t the kids. The problem is a man.[/quote]
Correction: Problem is the man you picked. Or did your parents force him on you?[/quote]

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