Reply to if you or your spouse cheated- how did you tell the kids?

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Reply to "if you or your spouse cheated- how did you tell the kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you divorce, you tell them when they ask and in an age-appropriate way.  T[b]hey have a right to information about why their family/life changed dramatically. 
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If you stay together you do not tell them in the same way you don’t tell them about every disagreement you have about your mother- in-law. [/quote]

No, they do not have the right to that information at all. Whether cheating, financial abuse, emotional abuse, sexlessness...kids do not need dirty details. [/quote]
They may not need to know the details but they do have the right to know who is at fault.[/quote]

I’m the PP who says they have a right to know if they ask, and I don’t think it has to do with fault. I think it has to do with children having a right to honesty from their parents about something as monumental as their home breaking up. I think parents should not assign fault— but I think it’s appropriate to say “your mother was having sex with someone else and that wasn’t something I felt comfortable living with” or “your father used a lot of money gambling and I didn’t feel safe about our finances” if that’s the truth. [/quote]

This.  Telling the kids isn’t about fault, it’s about honesty and trust.  They should be told in an age appropriate way and without the blame/fault language.[/quote]

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