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[quote=Anonymous]DD doesn’t have a major outside of school social life. Has quite a few friends at school and through activities but really doesn’t make plans unless pushed.
So far this weekend she

Had a dance class Friday evening 
After that we hung out with family friends that had a same age teen as DD.

Today she worked on hw
We went on a family hike 
We went out to lunch
She went with grandpa and dad to a college basketball game tonight.

I used to worry about her social life outside of school but I’ve come to terms with her being happy at school, engaged with friends in activities and social enough when given a push every so often by me (I try to space out my pushes so I don’t become a nag).

It’s funny though bc all weekend we’ve been seeing other teens hanging out with their parents.
Friday night our family friends teen had nothing going on till our last min plans came about
The hiking trail had teens hiking with their parents.
My husband sent a pic from the basketball game and in the background of the pic I saw at least 4 different teens sitting there with their parents on a sat night.

While I think it’s important for teens to get out of their comfort zone and socialize at a level that works for them, I also think it’s a real life skill for them to learn to be truly happy with their own company.

I will say I went through a period of adulthood where I felt kind of socially lost. I kept looking for the secret to what would make me feel like I was fitting in to all the groups of moms I saw around me. The best advice I ever got was to stop searching for friends and start spending my time doing what made me happy. The constant searching for friends made me come off desperate and my desire to fit into the group was unnatural and made me stand out even more.

Once I focused on hobbies and interests that I enjoyed and stopped worrying about making friends I found more friends than I ever could have imagined. People liked me and gravitated to me because I was interesting and confident. In worrying less about finding a “group” I found a bunch of really awesome loners (people who didn’t fit in with alot of the existing groups) like myself. We formed book clubs, theater groups, we played cards. It was crazy how much easier social things became once I stopped actively seeking friends.

I’m at that point with my teen now. She’s an awesome kid. Funny, kind, brave, lots of interests. If that doesn’t translate well to fitting in to 13 year old groups so be it. If she learns who she is and learns to love that person, friendships will  eventually fall into place.

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