Reply to How to explain to Ils that parents don’t want to share Christmas

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’d tell my parents to deal. If they want a solo weekend, they come at a time that’s not Christmas.  [/quote]

+1[/quote]
OP is going to visit her parents. It’s not usual to bring your in-laws along on a trip like that.[/quote]

Op and we didn’t bring them - they just… came too. They said it was on their way to their vacation which I guess it was - but they arranged their whole vacation to ‘coincide’. 
I just don’t know who is right in this scenario so hard to know how to deal [/quote]

[b]Why do you think they’d do it again?  [/b]

I wouldn’t say anything. I’d let them know whenever it comes up that you’re spending christmas with your parents. When they say “oh great we’ll just stop by on our way to xyz like we did last time!”  Your husband says, “that Christmas was great, but we were hoping this Christmas could be just us and larla’s side of the family since we don’t usually get to spend Christmas with them”. They’ll be disappointed, but they’ll get over it. [/quote]

Because people that just happened to arrange their travel plans to horn in on a Christmas celebration they were expressly not invited to tend to be the sort of people who will do it again. OP, I'd put this on your husband and tell him in no uncertain terms that you want Christmas alone with your parents this year, that you are open to arranging the holiday season to see his parents, but arranging their travel plans "on the way" to their vacation isn't welcome.

Your husband can figure out a way to phrase it so it's not so harsh - something like "My in-laws aren't really comfortable hosting extended family. We need to work something out this year for before or after Christmas day."[/quote]

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