Reply to Talk to me about dating as a woman who is not “hot”

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[quote=Anonymous]The only appearance suggestion I’ll make is accurate or other antibiotics. I suffered for years from break out rosacea. Two months and it was gone. This is not just for dating. It’s for skin health, work, etc.

As for the rest, I wonder if you convey an  inflexibility and anticipate somehow that you don’t (want to) measure up and have a kind of negative attitude or are of expectations that  close off opportunities. I also wonder what you convey about your sexuality and confidence in yourself. Since you are well groomed and slender yiu really don’t have a lot to physical challenges. But being open to others, having interest, a sense of humor, kindness and a little bit of playfulness is really going to be key to attracting someone. Personality counts.

Fwiw, i am a petite white woman with a  pretty but not gorgeous face ,always kept my hair, nails short, hated the fake boob fake lip high maintenance slutty look. But I had confidence in myself (was a dancer so also communicated it physically), and had a lot of interests, highly educated,  curious about others and the world and would try new things and was open to dating all Kinds of people.  Never had a problem attracting men. When I was younger there were two men in my life at different times who clearly wanted me to be more conventionally feminine—one bought me a pink fluffy sweater and short plaid skirt (this was in my doc Martin days, I tried but felt ridiculous ) and the other f$)k me pumps and the kind of club clothes I would never wear. We broke up quickly mostly due to general incompatibility.  Funny thing is my style has softened—hair is no longer a pixie and give me good cashmere v neck  or a Rebecca Taylor silk top or a fitted dress and I’ll happily wear it for the right occasion.   I suppose I can’t or maybe don’t want to pull off the doc Martin ripped jeans and wife beaters now that I’m a middle aged mom and professional with batwings, not a sinewy disaffected grabs student reading Kaja  Silverman on gender :)[/quote]

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