Reply to 50/50 is terrible for kids! Why does this nonsense persist?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] My exdh and I have 50/50. My dc have two homes and are not, in fact, vagabonds. They only carry their school backpack daily (just like kids who live at one home).

Dc seem happy and look forward to the time with each parent. With our work/school schedules, each parent sees the dc most days-it's not like they disappear into a black hole when not with the parent.

It probably does help that we live just blocks apart, it's easy to grab something if needed and we get along well enough to go to practices, events, ect for our dc. My dc do not want to go long times without seeing both parents.[/quote]

This is similar to the two families I know where 50:50 works really well. They live close to together and often during the week mom is still taking kid 1 to their sport and dad is taking kid 2 to their sport type thing. Both are still involved throughout the week. Also as the kids got older, while they mostly still sleep at the right 50:50 house, if they need homework help they might stop by one house or if someone just made fresh brownies, they swing by that house. Parents (and step parents) get along and there is no animosity about where the kids want to be. For one stretch, my friend's 13 year old daughter just didn't want to sleep at her dads. Just a teen thing and so for 3 months, she didn't, Dad still saw her lots but she went to moms every night. They adapted and then she got over that stage and started staying at dads again. Flexibility is key. [/quote]

This is very similar to my arrangement with Ex-DH. We live 15 min apart. Kids are loved by me and step DD, my ex, and their step DM. It takes a village but the kids see four adults sitting together at sporting events, four adults sitting together for the choir concert, etc. We do 50/50 for where the kids sleep but pitch in when needed. My Ex-DH is a lawyer - if he's in court and the kids step mom has to cover 3 kids sports practices, my husband or I might give one of them a ride, and they do the same when we're busy. It's not a science, it's an art, and despite our hiccups over the years we are doing ok! [/quote]

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