Reply to DIL choosing not to get involved in MIL's care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have said above that your husband and one of his siblings are okay with your current level of involvement, and another sibling wants to put you on the help schedule.

You have said that the other siblings live closer than you (40 minutes as opposed to 90 minutes for you) and that while you work and often work away from home, the other siblings just work part time in a creative field.

You have said that your husband does less visiting and more accounting/remote helping type work that is also valuable to his mom.  And that his mom pays for plenty of around the house help that is conducting the "heavy lifting" of her care but that one sibling thinks she could use more visit-type emotional support to help her from feeling lonely.

It sounds like even though the siblings live closer, they also have work that causes them to be unavailable at times.  I would not want to be put on a schedule, but if I could I would try to visit your DH's mother more when the siblings are less available, to be more helpful during their times of greatest need.  I would try to make a little more of an effort.  You have said your husband is the only one with a full time job, so it sounds like your work, though often remote, is also part time -- maybe you can help a little more than you are doing in a way that would be really useful and not that much of a burden to you.

My mom is 94 around the time she turned 90 she stopped being able to live on her own without additional assistance.  She ultimately went to live with my brother and then in assisted living when my brother got worried about falls.  Getting old is no joke and it can be very isolating, fwiw.  [/quote]

How much financial stuff is your husband "doing". The mom is in her 90s. [/quote]

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