Reply to DIL choosing not to get involved in MIL's care

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[quote=Anonymous]I've been in a similar situation. Spouse and I provided most of the care for his Dad, while we had young children (2 under 7). We had private caregivers but he lived with us. SIL (husband's sister) came every 2 months for a weekend to help and give us respite. That was better than nothing I suppose, but her husband didn't do anything. It lasted 5 years.

I have accepted that she did what she could.  But it wasn't equal, not even close, and when we asked that it be more equal, she couldn't comply because of her other restrictions (not local, small kids).

Our relationship will never be the same.

As for your situation, your spouse needs to put in an equal level of effort as his siblings. If you can foot the bill yourselves to pay for additional companionship, then you should offer to do that. If that means your DH's companionship is doubled, because you do not want to be there, then so be it. Whatever - if you want normal relations after your MIL dies, then you should do this. [/quote]

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