Reply to Elderly in-laws refuse to sell house that needs $200k of work, are out of money, can’t get loan

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Elderly in-laws refuse to sell house that needs $200k of work, are out of money, can’t get loan"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it sounds like your kids aren't college-aged yet. And you're early in saving for retirement, maybe?

There are calculators online that will help you both project a) what you need to save for retirement and b) what you need to save to pay for college for your kids.

(Side note on that, just use your state college flagship as a baseline -- if you want to pay for out of state or private, you will need to save much, much more. Take a look at current cost of attendance figures for colleges -- it's eye-opening).

You have to put your own oxygen mask on first, but getting cold hard figures of how much oxygen your family is going to need will help both you and DH in grappling with reality.

You also need to have a hard discussion with your DH about the power of compounding interest. It is far more valuable to save a dollar today than it is 10 years from now (which I'm sure you know); online calculators are also very helpful to illustrate how hard it is to catch later on deferred education and retirement savings.

One factor I would take out of the equation is inheritance. Do not approach this issue as your in-laws "squandering their kids' inheritance." There is no inheritance under these facts.

I agree with PP that you and DH could agree to help the ILs with funds to pay for the essentials of life, but you shouldn't put a dime into this house. It's a money pit and you shouldn't throw good money after bad.[/quote]

Thanks for your thoughtful message. Yes, we have young children and 529s for them that are not fully funded yet as they are under age 5. We are also saving for a home ourselves. And we are making solid payments to our 401k but it’s maxed for just one income as I work PT and am home PT as primary caretaker for toddlers. Could we stop paying into our 401k to toss money at their house? Technically, yes. It’s money we don’t “see” as it goes into the account automatically. But doing so for 5 or 10 or more years is extremely scary to me and I don’t want to be so risky. We expect zero from inheritance / estate; in fact, we’re already planning on the expenses we will have to undertake when the time comes because they of course have said nothing aside for end of life requirements, and we will need to pay for funeral expenses, junking out the house, etc. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics