Reply to Elderly in-laws refuse to sell house that needs $200k of work, are out of money, can’t get loan

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Reply to "Elderly in-laws refuse to sell house that needs $200k of work, are out of money, can’t get loan"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, the reason there is no path to making the finances work is because the house is a tear-down. Your inlaws got into this situation over YEARS and YEARS. Any money spent to improve the house is throwing good money after bad.

And the best answer their kids can give them is to tell them you are really sorry that there is not a financial option that will let them stay in the house. It is too bad there is a bunch of deferred maintenance and they can't afford to fix it, but there are all kinds of things I want and can't afford.

You guys are not in a position to help, not really. (If helping is at the exclusion of college and retirement savings.) This is a huge problem and if you start throwing money at home repairs you might as well be lighting it on fire. Your inlaws have a path out. They just need to know that there is no money fairy coming to let them have everything the way they want.[/quote]

Thank you for your comment. I 100% agree, and these statements are literally exact things I have said to my husband. They have made so many complex bad decisions. I can’t believe they even owe money on this house that they bought more than 25 years ago, but that shows you how little they have been paying down their original mortgage, and how much they have been spending on fancy brunches and crap from eBay. They have a wonderful, perfect escape hatch out of this terrible situation, they put them self, and that will clear their debt, give them cash, and let them live in a really safe, spacious house. It is so incredibly selfish to me that they just want to stay and keep throwing money into this hole in the ground, quite literally.[/quote]

Others have covered this, but just to reiterate, you should absolutely not damage your family's financial future to coddle them.  If they were in danger of being homeless, that's a different story.  But they're asking you to put off purchasing a home and funding your retirement and kids' education to enable their lifestyle choices - unreasonable and impractical choices at that.

Another point to reiterate - whatever happens, your husband or his sibling should try to get a financial POA immediately.  Because of their history of bad decisions, they could put themselves back here even if they sell the house.  They have a small margin for error now, but next time, you could find yourself in a situation where you *have* to help them out.  [/quote]

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