Reply to How do families pay for aging parents?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "How do families pay for aging parents? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In our family, people save for this eventuality and hope it doesn't happen. If it does, they have the money for it, and if it doesn't then that money goes to their kids. Same with deaths - my cemetery plot and headstone were paid for when I was a baby. My nephew and niece are 7 and 3 and theirs' are too. [/quote]

You are petty, petty, petty. People can work hard their whole lives and still not have enough money for "this eventuality," especially if they live long lives.

Fortunately, OP has plenty of people here to support her and not engage in your shaming.[/quote]

NP. My dad is in this position and it’s entirely his own doing. It often is. [/quote]

I’ll add to my above post, I think it’s difficult for people that come from families that are prepared for retirement to understand the alternatives. And good for them! It stinks being someone’s back-up plan,

I’d advise OP…do NOT spend your retirement and kids’ college savings in this relative. You’re just perpetuating inter generational financial dysfunction. Wait until the relative goes to the hospital, refuse to pick them up, then a social worker will place them. You can help them with logistics and quality of life issues after that. Do NOT start financial support. [/quote]

This sounds harsh and I also get this. I was advised to do this, but didn't want to have to get to this point. In both instances, our parents were referred to rehab after their hospitalization. And in both times, it was clear they were no longer able to live at home (my dad with my mom as he was largely immobile and my mom couldn't remain on her own).

It's really hard. [/quote]

I’m the PP and I know it sounds harsh. But honestly, when you’re faced with depleting your own retirement and greatly affecting your children’s future…it’s best to make the hard choices early rather than subject your kids to the same fate. It stinks. It really does. [/quote]

Agree. I'm the PP. I was just fortunate that health crises for both of them forced SNFs to accept them. Now that I better understand, I may have tried to move our mom before her health crisis, paid down her assets, then applied for Medicaid as there was enough money remaining for a couple of years of care. She really need eyes on her as well as the socialization.

It's a little similar to paying for college - don't risk your retirement on your kids' college educations. I sadly know too many people who cashed out accounts/signed loans. Their kids are working, but not enough to replenish what was spent.

GL to you and your family as it really does stink.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics