Reply to Son pledging there’s definitely hazing

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He’s an adult (presumably) and can make his own choices. Land the helicopter.[/quote]

This is not a helicopter situation.  Their frontal lobes are still developing.  We had a nephew end up in a coma.  This is still a parenting moment.

OP - Definitely talk with him about the values of this fraternity and joining means he will have to subject others to these actions.  I hope that makes an impact.  [/quote]

+1000

The fact he's telling mom/dad about it means he's concerned and does NOT know how to respond.  Peer pressure is huge, especially at college freshman year who you are trying to navigate a new social life.  He's asking for help and it's your job as a parent to advise him and help him make the correct choice[/quote]

Completely agree.  What he and others accept as pledges will be recorded and he will be expected to do the same next year and following years.  It is extremely difficult to leave this kind of situation b/c they have psychologically conditioned him to thinking that they want him as a friend, and he knows that he will be marked if he either tells or gets out without telling.  It's coercion straight up.  And you can't expect an 18 yr old in a new school/social circle to know how to handle it.

Help him find his inner values and whether he would be proud for people to know what he is witnessing, experiencing, or will be doing.  I'm sure the threat of videoing behavior and publishing it is huge.

Please help your kid know how to own his standards.  He knows it's wrong.  [/quote]

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