Reply to Feeling hurt when other people fall apart over their elderly ailing parents while mine died young

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Feeling hurt when other people fall apart over their elderly ailing parents while mine died young"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1999. That is the important part here, people. OP is acting totally insane.[/quote]

I am the OP. Why is the year of my mom's death relevant when I still haven't found closure?

My mom was completely unable to talk about her diagnosis (malignant cancer which turned out to be terminal) to anyone which made things worse I think.
There was no real 'goodbye'.

[/quote]

Because 23 years is a long time to not seek treatment for unresolved grief and to withhold empathy and support from your own grieving spouse because of it. [/quote]

OP again.
I have never sought treatment or therapy in my life. 
I was brought up to deal with your problems without leaning on others, or asking for help (unless it was a serious and urgent situation).

I was born in 1968 and therapy or councelling wasn't really a thing when I was growing up. It was kind of frowned upon in my family. 
My dad's side of the family were a little more open and more communicative, but my mom's side were not, and problems/emotions were dealt with within each nuclear family unit. You wouldn't really seek help from outside.[/quote]

I was born in 1968 too. And although my dad frowned on therapy, I decided I'd do it myself in grad school because I didn't need his approval or his money to do it. I've been in therapy off and on over the years, and know plenty of people of our generation who have done the same. You're 54/55, not 95. It's not too late to get professional help for something that is clearly a problem for you. You don't have to repeat negative and unhelpful patterns from your family upbringing, especially notions as misguided as people should never seek help from outside their families.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics