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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I also understand how you feel. One of my boys is a great athlete and loved sports from a young age. He is also barely on the growth charts. Before most boys hit puberty, his natural athleticism, hard work, and competitive mindset kept him competitive in multiple sports. However, starting in sixth grade, things went downhill. Because he loves sports so much, these years were brutal. He lost his confidence and became depressed, which impacted all areas of his life. I remember one day in middle school, he was playing basketball and could not get a shot off that wasn't blocked. After the game, he got in the car, curled up in a ball, and sobbed for about 30 minutes, repeating, "I just can't anymore." It was heartbreaking. He quit basketball shortly after that.

He also plays soccer, which had its ups and downs. After his freshman high school season, he wanted to be done with club soccer because he felt like his hard work wasn't getting him anywhere with his current club, where he was getting little playing time. He told his coach why he was leaving and found another, much less competitive team where he could play the entire game. The team was terrible, but at least he was playing.

Before I talk about his size, I should mention that DS goes to a small private high school, so he had more opportunities to play than he might have at a larger school. Still, despite his extremely small size and late puberty, he is a good player. He was good enough to make the varsity team his freshman year and to earn significant playing time off the bench. Unlike some of the stories about NBA athletes or how their 5'4 inch son is now a six-footer playing a D1 sport, my son's story is probably a more realistic inspiration. When I say he was small when he started high school, I'm talking small. As a freshman, my son was 4'9 and around 80 pounds. He hit so many roadblocks in multiple sports during the middle school years through freshman year that he was ready to give up sports altogether. He did try an individual sport for a few year, but he was late to start and didn't excel.

Fast forward to junior and senior years of high school - after quitting high-level club soccer and playing on a middling team, my son grew and finally started to hit puberty. He was a starter on his high school team junior year, playing every minute of every game. His senior year, he hit what is probably his full height (only about 5'6) and he still weighs 120 pounds. However, he has gotten strong enough now that his exceptional skill yields greater results on the field. He was a captain and was selected as the team MVP. Once he started feeling more powerful as he grew into his adult body, he became a more effective and confident player. A tiny player with a huge heart giving maximum effort might not always be recognized by awards, but he can boost his teammates and earn respect from coaches, teammates, and opponents, even with limited playing time. Over the years, I've watched the best and often biggest players on opposing teams (and coaches) come over to talk to my son and compliment his play. He learned to play bigger than his body, but it was a struggle. He had so many reasons to give up, starting with coaches who never gave him a chance, despite his good work ethic. [b]With his personality, I think that keeping him in his old club team would have provided better training but would have led to him quitting the sport entirely.

If your small, late bloomer loves a sport, try to find a place they can play without becoming too discouraged.[/b] Exploring an individual sport is also a good idea. Encourage your son to be the absolute best player he can be in the body he has regardless of whether anyone else believes in him. That persistence will serve him better in life than any sports accolades. Good luck.

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I had a similar experience in both basketball and soccer with my son.  I didn't want them to give up sports entirely for a temporary issue (though temporary really is 8th grade-sophomore year).  I noticed this year with my 9th grader I'm providing much more encouragement to make him feel good which he's not getting from coach.   I can see his skill and knowledge is far above a lot of the bigger players the coach favors--and we have a lot of college/pro players in our family line who were late growers.  Now with so many more kids playing soccer it's more of a issue than it was way back then as there are so many early bloomers to choose from.

I think your son developed qualities that are really going to make him successful and help him in life.  That drive, grit and not giving up are all going to pay back in dividends.

This entire thread breaks my heart for so many kids that give up something they absolutely loved because their bodies aren't on someone else's timetable.  I wish coaches would be more sensitive to that fact.  I'm not faulting them for picking players that will help them win (even how ugly the play may be) because that is how they keep their job at most of these big clubs and high schools, but I wish at least they wouldn't be so derogatory to a kid about his size which he has zero control over.  Some have been just outright rude and psychologically damaging.  You see in some female sports it leads to years of eating disorders and the same type of mental damage is being done to boys but it's not talked about. [/quote]

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