Reply to DH terrible temper with kids. tools/resources for self regulating as parent?

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[quote=Anonymous]I get why you don’t want to divorce OP and I think people saying it cavalierly are underestimating what that would mean. But I do think you need to exercise all the tools within your power to get this to stop happening, recognizing you cannot control him- you can only control your reaction to him. If you’re not already, make sure to always firmly speak out when he behaves this way. Stay very calm and do not take a scolding tone, but say directly that it’s not ok for anyone to treat members of your family this way, and he needs to go somewhere else and take a break until he is able to express his needs calmly. Do not let him be around the kids when this behavior starts. They need to see that you are willing to stand up for them, and that it’s not ok. It will probably piss him off when you do this, and if his anger escalates or gets directed toward you, you have your answer as to whether you should seriously be considering divorce. If he does seem willing to back off or eventually decides to work on himself, there is hope. Bottom line is if you would not permit a teacher or adult outside your family to say those things to your kids, you can’t stand idly by and accept it from a spouse.  Im sorry you’re in this situation. [/quote]

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