Reply to And then the day comes: Long term partner

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you have an interesting story to tell. Many adult children of elders need to be aware of - when it's not marriage, it's not marriage. And even if it were, people may not step-up as you would hope/expect. No reason posters needs to exaggerate motive/intent. It's a good thread.[/quote]

This. Now when they are married, don't expect to inherit.

In my case my own mother was 15 years younger than dad. She enjoyed a luxury life, yet when he became ill over time she said she was going to divorce him. She insisted I care for him since I would eventually inherit what she inherited. If you marry the person and enjoy over 50 decades of privilege, then yes, you need to step up. We were helping and she had hired help and was given our blessing to chose residential for him. That was insanity and she was deemed mentally fine.

If they aren't married, you cannot expect that. I love my husband and will and have been there for sickness. I will do anything for him. If he passes before I do, I will never remarry. I might eventually date, but there would be major boundaries and I would make it clear I have no intention of ever marrying again. Already in middle age, I have faced far more primary and secondary (helping a parent helping a parent) care-giving than a lot of people. By old age I will have nothing left to give other than care-giving for my adult children post surgery or something or helping grandchildren if needed.[/quote]

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