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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

It's incredibly frustrating -- post after post, people point out that addiction is a real, legitimate reason for divorce, don't get involved with an addict, it's only a matter of time, once an addict, always an addict.

But this isn't a problem? I don't get it. Seriously.

I appreciate that I might be coming from an emotional standpoint somewhat and I'm not an expert and appreciate the insights and recommendations. I've gone to Al-anon and the message I received for years was RUN if you come across someone who is an addict. I think the saying was "don't collect broken toys."

I am worried about my sister. I am worried about my nieces and nephew. I'm not a terrible person. I'm care about my family and have gone through a lot.[/quote]

Who is saying once an addict, always an addict?  That’s AA-speak and many people in recovery do still consider themselves addicts/alcoholics, in part because that helps them stay aware.  But no, active addiction is not the same thing as protracted recovery, as the research shows.  If you’re interested in learning, John Kelly at Harvard is the expert: https://www.recoveryanswers.org/

You’re reacting as you are because of *your* issues, not because of who your BIL actually is.  While I have sympathy for what you’ve gone through, that doesn’t give you the right to castigate everyone in recovery or even in active addiction.  Take that worry energy and put into actually *learning* about addiction and recovery, if you want to do something good.[/quote]

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