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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]43 is old for a new baby. I know this because I’m 43 and I’m too old for a baby. But I’m just a regular person. [/quote]

This. I'm 43 and don't bother with BC because it is so unlikely to naturally get pregnant. I am happy for Danes but the likelihood of natural pregnancies at 43+ is nil. These types of stories without mentioning repro asst are misleading to general public.[/quote]
So much misinformation in this post. My son’s first grade class had 3 moms turn 50 that year. All “normal” pregnancies (and all the third & last child in the family). [/quote]

those 50 YO women likely misrepresent their pregnancies. Or, do not reveal what their pregnancy journey was for privacy reason, which is understandable. WE need to start normalizing the fact that most women in their 40s are not getting pregnant easily. Stop the lies[/quote]

There are not lies (DP, for the record).

Some women do struggle to conceive in their 40s. Probably the majority of women who are trying to get pregnant in their 40s have fertility issues. Everyone knows this. EVERYONE. Sure, people will say things like "but it seems like a lot of women get pregnant in their 40s." They say this to be encouraging to women who are struggling, or as a counter to someone who says "I can't have kids because I'm x age." It's meant to point out that it is of course possible to have kids in your 40s, women have been doing it for ages, since long before fertility treatments were even available. You don't know that you can't have kids in your 40s unless you try, so if you want kids in your 40s, you might as well try. That's why people say this.

And also, yes, some women get pregnant easily in their 40s. I know that can be hard to hear for someone who is struggling with infertility. But it's not a personal attack, it's just true. My mom conceived easily in her 40s. I conceived easily at 37 and 39, two healthy kids no issues at all. I know a number of women who have had surprise pregnancies in their 40s that they definitely didn't use donor eggs or fertility treatments for -- two of them terminated because they didn't want another kid and it was a very unwelcome surprise. It happens. Is it the way most pregnancies happen? No.

But you can't just assume that every pregnant 40+ woman used fertility treatments and is "lying" if she doesn't announce this to you. Many likely did, but it is honestly their business, not yours. And some didn't, and they can't "normalize" something that isn't even true for them. Some women get pregnant easily in their 40s. You can't bet on it and I'd advise anyone who really wanted kids to not leave it to that hope if at all possible. But I would also tell a woman in her late 30s with no history of infertility who was finally in a position to have kids and was worried -- you never know, it might happen easily. Don't assume it will be difficult until you try and see what happens. But because I don't believe in borrowing trouble and for me, personally, conceiving my kids at an advanced age was not an issue.[/quote]

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