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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. You all seem unanimous so I think maybe it’s a cultural thing. Im from a different country originally where kids wouldn’t do this. DD wouldn’t either but probably because of me. To the PP who said “ who takes kids to Starbucks?” I didn’t take them, hence pre ordering on the app. We did a cold weather outside activity then I thought getting s hot chocolate close by would be nice. It’s all in the same area. [/quote]

It is a UMC with parents that don’t say no thing.  My kids wouldn’t do this, but their absolutely have friends that do.  I have no problems telling them no.  [/quote]

Then you’re rude.  Who only buys hot choc and refuses tea?!  How strangely controlling.   [/quote]

It’s rude to say you don’t want hot chocolate, but buy me a latte instead, at 10, or however old these kids are.  If a parent asks if you want hot chocolate, it is a yes or no question.  If one of the children says no, the polite adult would then ask if there was something else they would like instead.  But to presume you can get a latte instead is rude. [/quote]

Agree.  No adult would treat another out to lunch and then restrict it to sandwiches - that’s just weird.  They would offer to take the girlfriend out to a place that offered things off the menu for that friend to choose from.
This. When you serve birthday cake, you get what you get. You don’t survey everyone to see what they would like, otherwise you’d be having one red velvet cake, and one carrot cake, and one Brooklyn blackout cake. NO! It’s the same when you offer someone something else. It’s a yes or no response. My god, children are so coddled.[/quote]

That’s not the same thing.  This isn’t a bunch of kids at OP’s house, and she was making hot chocolate and asked which girl wanted some.  She was ordering off an app.  Why does she need to specify what specific drink the girls ordered?  Why does she care if a girl prefers tea to hot chocolate?  Just because they are kids doesn’t mean they aren’t people with individual tastes.[/quote]

No, what doesn’t matter is where or how it is prepared. The OP offered X, it is shockingly rude to ask for Y.[/quote]

Of course it matters where and how prepared. If a friend invites me to dinner at their house, I will eat whatever they serve and say thank you. If a friend invites me out to lunch and restaurant and offers to treat, I will order off the restaurant menu, within reason (I'm not going to order surf and turf when my friend is paying), I'm not obligated to get the same thing she orders or to follow her suggestion for what to order. She isn't making the food and the other options are readily available. They are totally different situations.[/quote]

If your friend invited you out to lunch for sandwiches, it would be rude to ask to have a steak instead. She owes you nothing, either accept gracefully or decline and buy your own damn lunch.[/quote]

Agreed as to the steak, but if my friend offered to by me a sandwich and the restaurant had a slice of quiche on the menu for the same amount and I felt like quiche, it would not be rude for me to say "I think I'll have the quiche instead." Of course she "owes me" nothing, but she is offering to treat me to lunch and all of my friends would be totally fine with me ordering the thing I actually wanted, if it was available and not a huge difference in price, in that situation. Because they have basic social skills and are not control freaks.[/quote][/quote]

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