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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]4/5.

I’ve worked with kids from 3-7 for almost twenty years and I see the behavior start in Pre-K/Kindergarten.

It’s when I’ll see kids go from impulsively being unkind (getting frustrated and hitting, calling someone a name) to true mean, manipulative behavior with the intent on hurting their peers.  Excluding certain children in order to make them feel bad, finding a child’s weakness or sensitivity and attacking it in order to hurt them.  When I see the intention behind the behavior, I consider that “mean girl” behavior although boys can exhibit this too, but it is mostly girls.

And 9/10 times it comes directly from the parents.  We had this incredibly snotty, arrogant, mean mother who would make sarcastic, classist mean girl remarks to other mothers and staff but somehow managed to be well-liked in her circle.  Her kid was 4 when she started exhibiting the exact same behaviors. Excluding kids based on perceived social status, clothing, etc.  Being incredibly cruel to kids that were clearly struggling, “you are ugly and stupid” but always said in what they assume out or an adults earshot.  When approached about it, they would dawn and butter up adults or any authority figure.  At 4 already figuring out how to be sneaky enough to torment some kids but be a little teachers pet with adults. Really disheartening.

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At least the kids you know still knew they had to butter up the adults. DD’s bully was confident enough to be blatantly rude to adults and say mean things to the kids she bullied right in front of grownups. Mother turned a blind eye of course.[/quote]

And the father? Has he no responsibility in this? The internalized misogyny here is crazy. Boys and men are horrible to each other too! Y’all are working for the patriarchy and not even getting paid. [/quote]

I hate to say it but the father was a big time corporate hot shot who worked all the time. So most of the interactions regarding the kid involved the mother. You can rage all you want but that’s what happened. He’s guilty of not being involved I suppose. [/quote]

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