Reply to Marriage is the most important decision of someone’s life: should parents interfere?

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[quote=Anonymous]My DH and I started dating in college and I had dated a little but didn’t have serious boyfriend previously. After a few years of dating him my mom said “doesn’t it concern you that his dad is obese?” And I said “I do worry about his father’s health, but I’m not breaking up with someone I love because his dad is fat.” At another point she asked questions like who would take care of DH’s younger brother who never finished college. (I did worry about my BIL for awhile, but he’s actually thrived.) When we were getting married I asked my mom - as we shopped for wedding dresses - “before this goes too far, do you have any serious concerns, or did you just want to make sure I’d thought about potential challenges?” And she said she didn’t have serious concerns. We’ve been together almost 25 yrs and married about 15. It didn’t help (in my parents’ eyes) that we waited a decade to marry, but we were young and then s few years’ long distance and wanted to be in the same city a few years before getting engaged. It would be easier in terms of fitting in with my family if I’d met someone super athletic at the country club who became a surgeon or lawyer, but that’s not who I met / fell in love with. I don’t think my parents enjoy being around him very much, but they do comment often about how kind and attentive he is with me and how good a father he is, and I think they’re sincere about that. [/quote]

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