Reply to How did your sibling being a "dud" impact your relationship with him/her, and with your parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Both of my siblings mooch heavily off of my parents who refuse to cut them off and constantly enable their behavior. They each live, for free, in homes my parents own. Neither work. One has kids for which my mother provides free constant childcare (even though my sister doesn’t work). The other got my parents to buy him a car.

All of them (even my parents) come to me for money and I have had to cut them off financially. I cannot have a normal relationship with my siblings so I have had to put up huge boundaries with them and now I barely see or speak to them (which has drastically reduced my stress).

I have my own family and children to worry about; my time and resources need to be focused on them, not my siblings. I do resent them and have made it clear that when my mother passes away I am not stepping in to support them financially. [/quote]

One of my siblings took everything from my parents, and is always hitting up the other siblings for more - they know not to ask me. At some point, the family has to stop enabling such behavior, so that the one who seems "needy" can do for themselves. Give a man a fish.....teach a man to fish....and all.

DH has a sibling that is almost exactly similar. MIL enables her, provided free childcare, family provided a job, never worked much, etc. Typical situation of family members enabling, not doing for herself, not calling her on her BS, spiraling until she is helpless, she is allegedly the only one who needs something or matters, it's all about her, narcissism, to hell with everyone else.....

It gets old when you are the one who was given nothing, that person was handed everything, yet has no appreciation for all your contributions or trying to help, and others are marginalized by the needy one, because it is all about them. Really no reason to help when they can be such users. It's when they try to talk sh*t about the helpers that it gets juicy, because people see the situation for what it is, faster than they would otherwise. [/quote]

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