Reply to Baby fever at 45

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Baby fever at 45"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm the PP from earlier that is an only with an only who recommended continuing therapy with a new person.

In your last post you talk about the lack of family for your only. I will give you some perspective growing up as an only with very little extended family. On my mother's side, my mom did not speak to any siblings etc after my grandfather passed when I was very young. Long story short, she was not a biological child and was resented. So there was never any family interaction on that side.

My dad had one brother who was ten years older. They did not really speak, didn't live nearby, so I rarely if ever saw my cousins. My grandmother lived five minutes away but half the time she wasn't speaking to my parents based on perceived insults (she had issues). So very little family activities on that side either.

Plus, we didn't have much money so we didn't go anywhere for holidays, we were always home.

And guess what? I have very happy memories of holidays and such! It was just the three of us but we had our little routines. Like, we would always go out to an early dinner on Christmas Eve to the same restaurant then drive around looking at lights. I was "forced" to stay upstairs until everything was ready on Christmas morning, then my mom took a picture of me coming down the stairs. I never saw my life as "less than" despite the fact everyone I knew had siblings. It was my life and I was happy.

As I got older, I made friends, and ended up marrying into a larger family (three brothers). And I can say that a larger family has its pros and cons as much as a smaller family and neither one is better or worse than the other. I do worry that your disappointment is projecting onto your son and maybe that's why you say he is lonely. I'm sure my parents were upset sometimes about the state of their own families, but that NEVER was passed on to me...I learned about all the dysfunction after I was older. I had no idea what they were going through, and if they were disappointed or sad, I never knew as a child.

I agree you should talk to someone again about this, because it's now obvious it's about more than having a second child. You are upset your parents aren't the grandparents you would like, your sister is not the aunt you would like. That your H's family is not how you wish they would be. And you thought you could "fix" all of that by having another child. But sometimes the only "fix" is to accept and enjoy life as it is. Good luck to you.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics