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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm never the one to say jump to divorce, but honestly...you need to leave him. At least separate and see what it's like. You don't need two kids to raise. I cannot even imagine how frustrating this must be for you. Your son is young enough that he won't remember. You deserve a partner who wants to be a dad.[/quote]

This is bad advice because she is likely going to have to share custody and she’s not gonna be able to trust him with the baby. It is very difficult for mothers to get full custody now.[/quote]

It doesn't sound like he will be remotely interested in his half of custody. When the baby is 2 or 3, he will become even less interested. OP and her child deserve a caring and involved husband/father and right now they don't have one. OP has nothing to lose by leaving and everything to gain. [/quote]

I thought that… but many do suddenly want custody because they don’t wanna pay a lot of child support. You have to pay a lot if the woman has full custody, and a lot of men will take half custody just because they don’t wanna pay that money. Ask me how I know [/quote]

This is true, although I ended up making a deal with my ex to let him off the hook financially for anything related to our child in exchange for about 1/5 parenting time.  I have a good job and family money, so our child was in no way "robbed" and I did it to get child out of what became an unhealthy situation.  Once we divorced parenting time from money and support, he started disappearing for months at a time.  OP, step one is individual therapy.  Go from there and take your time.  My story has a happy ending for what it's worth (remarried, had more kids, happier in my family life than most people I know in spite of the challenges with my oldest and his dad). My ex was the same way plus developed substance abuse problems and had an affair (my saving grace that allowed me to move on).  We married way too young because we were both heavily influenced by our religion. [/quote]

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