Reply to Your thoughts on how to solve this recurring marital disagreement/issue

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Your thoughts on how to solve this recurring marital disagreement/issue"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm your DH in this situation (though I also handle kid appointments). I think it's more about wishing my spouse took the initiative to try to learn to resolve household repairs that seem complicated and can cost $150 a pop, but actually do only require a 15 minute YouTube video and $20 in parts (and you learn something along the way!). We do have plenty of funds available to call a handyperson whenever, but it just seems pretty lazy to do so without at least doing an initial assessment of the risks/whether the problem is DIYable.

I actually just fixed our washer (agitator wasn't rotating) and dryer (drum wasn't rotating) and they were decently easy fixes - having a handyperson would've been $100 for an diagnostic visit alone (each) plus parts (upcharged by 3x) and additional labor - so probably $350+. Whereas it took me total of 2 hours and $40 in parts + I gained some knowledge in case of future problems. Yes, I'm proud of it, haha.

Now, for more complicated or dangerous tasks (electrical/plumbing), it's easier to justify calling a handyperson the first time around.

So with that in mind, it could help to do a quick google/YouTube lookup of the issue and its solution. If it seems doable, give it a shot, you might be surprised! If not, well at least you tried. If your DH is like me, I think he'd appreciate the effort and I think that's what matters most.[/quote]

So, I get your point of view and I think it's valid, but I feel like this is a part of a bigger discussion with a spouse about spending and what's important to each partner.

I can't think of any home repair type thing I've done that's taken 15 minutes of tutorial and one trip to get $20 of parts. Not even when the kids accidentally ground up a small glass in the garbage disposal. I would not be amused if my husband gave me a hard time for hiring a handyman if we could afford it with the attitude that, hey, a few hours of your day is worth less than my annoyance at spending money we have.[/quote]

I think it's actually more of an issue of how you problem solve. The thing is OP hasn't specified what these tasks are (other than them being boring/routine, which makes me think they're relatively easy to take care of) or whether she's taken the 10 minutes to assess whether they're doable from a time/$$ standpoint. I think it's hard to argue whether something should be an annoyance without at least that initial assessment of the time/$$ of the problem. If after that, you still find it annoying, then okay.

Btw it's going to take 5 minutes anyway to find a vendor, discuss the problem, and get a quote.

Also "a few hours of your day" is an investment for solving recurring issues and ongoing maintenance, which I think most posters are ignoring. [/quote]

I'm actually a lot like you, in that I'll always check and see if a problem is easily solvable by me before hiring out, and I define easily solvable as "a couple of hours and significantly less money."  Plus I like investing in future maintenance cost reduction.

HOWEVER, that's my calculation.  For some people, the process of finding and internalizing home repair skills/identifying and acquiring appropriate parts/spending an unknown amount of time is a MUCH higher cost than just paying to have an expert resolve it.  For example, there's the stress of not knowing whether you're doing it right or making a small problem worse, buying the wrong parts and having to go back to the store (sometimes multiple times) and having a very limited amount of free time that you would then have to devote to a frustrating and stressful project.

I understand that to you and me, this wouldn't be that frustrating or stressful, but to other people, it is and that's just as valid an approach.  So their cost/benefit analysis is simply different, and for them it wouldn't make sense NOT to pay an expert to fix it.  Forcing those people to adopt our cost/benefit analysis is analogous to an extrovert forcing an introvert into unwanted social situations to make the introvert happier.  Square peg, round hole.

OP, I like the "ok, I've scheduled the repair guy for two weeks from now, and I can cancel up until the day before.  If you want to fix it, before then, go ahead" approach.  But the bigger problem here is that he always has the final say on money issues.  What's up with that? [/quote]

Yes, but it doesn't seem OP has done a cost/benefit analysis, but instead the first solution is to throw money at the problem because she can. If the cost/benefit was done and the assessment is that it's not worth the time based on personal preference/comfort (though discomfort with something new is another issue), then fine. It's about making at least an earnest effort. (And DH will need to accept the results of those efforts.)[/quote]

NP.  I don't understand why you expect OP to do that analysis when it's her DH who wants it done.  With her working part-time and doing all the family/domestic work, I would imagine her DH has a lot more time to do said analysis.  (Of course, he's minimizing and not appreciating how much she does, by putting this in her lap.)[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics