Reply to My mother will not speak to me because I stood up to her

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "My mother will not speak to me because I stood up to her"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks for all the feedback. I remember both of my parents getting into arguments with relatives that went on for hours and eventually both sides either made up or did not speak for years. It was so much extra stress for people with small kids, I imagine. And now they’re trying to get into it with me. I know the next thing will be “you’re keeping me from my grandchildren.” I could smell it coming. [/quote]

So what are you going to say? You need to have a plan. For example, if she wants to visit at Christmas, she stays at a hotel. You can meet in public places. If she begins acting rude and making passive aggressive comments, you simply leave.

Or you can say, “Yes, right now I am. I do not want to expose them to your toxic behavior. This is what setting boundaries looks like.” [/quote]

Or maybe OP can take some of that toxic money her mother keeps offering -- offering money!! How dare she!! -- and put it in a college fund for her kids. That or explain to her kids that their grandmother kept toxically offering money that their mother refused, so they can just work at Mickey D's during college to make ends meet. I'm sure they're be thankful for the boundaries and all.[/quote]

You clearly don't come from a family where money is used to manipulate and control. If you want to give a gift that is lovely as long as a heartfelt thank you note is enough. If you have a long list of demands and expectations that you don't spell out for your 100 bucks then it is not beautiful. If your gift comes with strings you need to make them clear so the person can decline. I would much rather earn my own and save for my kids education because my mother turns every gift of money even $20 into a drama. If a child writes a thank you note and says I will spend it on a board game then she is furious we don't teach them to save. If they don't thank her enough in person she is offended. if the thank you note is too brief she is offended. There is a point where you pass from giving into using a gift as way to inflict emotional harm on a person.[/quote]

DP. My rich and successful grandparents sent my second grade thank you notes back with grammatical corrections.

Did anybody scream insults at them? Of course not. My mom told them to stop. (She never showed me the notes, but she did mention all this after they died.)[/quote]

And no one is screaming insults here. You want so badly for this mother to be a victim. Why?[/quote]

OP insulted her mother instead of addressing the problem like a mature adult. Why are you so invested in defending this behavior?[/quote]

PS, I saw this thread yesterday and rolled my eyes at the usual cast of hysterical adult children blaming their parents for every possible thing and trying to impose their own situations on yet another OP’s different circumstances. But I didn’t post here yesterday because I figured you guys were incapable of looking outside your own narcissistic selves, so why bother. Then I saw Jeff’s recap where he said you’d be mad at him, too, and I also figured OP was getting self-serving advice from a bunch of immature narcissists. So I came on to support that earlier pp who called for calm reason and even a little empathy.

Now I’m done with this thread, because you’ll never grow up or stop making every thread about yourselves. [/quote]

OP, I see your mom found the thread. Love how she throws insults around. So classy![/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics