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Reply to "Student loan forgiveness has made me even more distant from my father "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, go see a therapist. Some of this is your dad, some of this is you. And has nothing to do with politics. Maybe you don’t mean to, but you come across as narcissistic. BTW, no one is going broke on a marijuana habit. I get the feeling if his hobby were fishing, you’d have an issue about how he bought himself a fishing pole and made you take out student loans. Basically, he’s supposed to foresake anything that brings him a little bit of pleasure for you. I hope you aren’t raising your own children the way you wanted to be treated. You sound like you want everything handed to you at someone else’s expense. As a lifelong Dem voter, I can’t stand this attitude -it gives fuel to people who don’t want to support social programs for the underprivileged.[/quote] Op here. People do go broke from buying marijuana. You have no idea what my childhood was like because of his drug habit. He could have provided us with a much better upbringing if he wasn't high all the time. He was feeling a little pleasure daily. That's not okay. Even if I didn't qualify for student loan forgiveness, I would still support others who do qualify. [/quote] You sound like a mess. Go to therapy.[/quote] I have been to therapy but I can't afford to go for years and years. Being high all the time isn't normal. It's not like going fishing. It impacted my childhood. My dad still operates this way even when he visits us out of state. The student loan things bring memories of when I was younger and he wasn't available financially or emotionally to help me. Growing up in the midwest without a car was very, very hard. We lived in an upper middle-class neighborhood and I was the only one in college and beyond without a car. [/quote] Zero sympathy about the car. A lot of us went to school without a car to rural campuses. Or bought super old cars at a bargain basement price and worked multiple jobs. Your story keeps shifting -I’ve never met someone from an UMC neighborhood on a Pell grant. You sound like you want to be a perpetual victim and not an adult. You had a solution to the car problem, but didn’t want to take responsibility. You don’t want to pay student loans, you want someone else to fund that. OP, the student loan forgiveness would help people, but it’s actually a complicated economic question (including the fact that it incentivizes colleges to raise tuition even more…if you have kids, that will be your problem eventually). But what I’m picking up here is not father/daughter political differences, but a grown woman who wants to lay down and keep playing the victim. Your life isn’t going to improve until you start taking ownership for it and stop laying everything on other people to fix.[/quote] Op here. Without a car it was very hard to find work, and ultimately, that's why I left college. I couldn't keep up with working full time and studying full time and the time on the bus. I did not take loans to pay rent or live on campus or pay for my meals. I went to a commuter state college. The fact that my dad was high all the time had a significant impact on my upbringing. I am not playing the victim. I have moved on. I moved out when I was 18 and never needed financial help from him. It was irresponsible for my dad to use the money on drugs when he could have helped us. He bought an older car for my older sister, for example. He continues to feed his drug habit and isn't saving for retirement. We lived in a nice neighborhood growing out because my grandmother owned the home. Now that I have children myself, I am growing angry at my dad, especially when he visits us out of state and manages to find drugs locally. He comes for two days at a time. I think it's selfish not to save at least a portion of money for your kids' education. I didn't grow up or attend college in cities with mass transportation so having a car was essential. Its not safe to take the bus late at night. I wouldn't want that for my children. I left college and moved to dc. I was okay in DC without a car because mass transportation is better and safer. [/quote] Op, that sounds rough and it took strength to push through that. Smoking weed all the time isn't okay. People are mean and sick on this forum. They aren't going to give you sympathy. I would be pissed if my parents brought weed to my house out of state. Personally, that's a reason to cut them off. Your kids shouldn't be exposed to their drug habit. [/quote]
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