Reply to Women expecting other women to be in charge of all holidays/logistics/family dynamics

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not a perfect system, but my inlaws will text both dh and me. They realize that I do everything but are trying to get their son to be more responsive/ not put the burden on me. I nag dh to answer them back. I wish he'd do this on his own, but I'm trying. We're both juggling a lot of balls but somehow he puts his extended family last and I can still manage to do mine.[/quote]

Sounds like trying to play puppeteer is more work than just doing it. But it’s VERY VERY important to show your son(s) that their mom nagged daddy to text grandma instead of just getting things settled so be sure to never stop.[/quote]

NP. It is, actually. Because then son realizes dad has a responsibility, and his failure to fulfill it doesn’t make it mom’s responsibility. This will show the son that you can’t just shirk your duties not only with regards to your family, but at your job, as a neighbor, etc. If you fail to shovel the sidewalk in front of your house, you will still be liable for accidents even if your other neighbor occasionally picks up the slack and does it for you for the good of the neighborhood.[/quote]

+1. I want my son to not only be a good family member who plans, communicates, helps and participates, but a good lab partner, a good group project member, a good friend, a good roommate, a good co-worker, a good neighbor, a good boss, and maybe one day, a good spouse or partner. That all starts at home. And me rescuing my husband like men are hapless dolts who can’t buy gifts, send cards, or help plan a holiday dinner is not doing anyone any favors.[/quote]

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