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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I get wanting to vent, so I hear you on that end. But it doesn't sound like it's as dire as you first mentioned it was. It also sounds like you have some resentment because they're different than your parents and have handled their finances differently. I would try not to hold onto that. Your MIL is right - you can't take it with you. It sounds like they're lucky that they've been healthy enough to travel and do those things, don't begrudge them that. If you do need to help them out financially, make sure that you don't compromise your own retirement goals. By like they say - don't cry over spilt milk (or spent money, in this case).[/quote]

OP here. Agree that it has gone from dire to maybe we have a few years here if EVERYTHING breaks in the right way over the last few weeks. But the luck, health (and money) to be able to travel shouldn't preclude good planning. This isn't a "let it ride on a high reach ED, but I'm okay with my list of targets and safeties." They bet that they could have it all, spent accordingly, and now they are entering the unknown but with the largely the same expectations they've always had. To be fair, my MIL seems to be grappling more with this, but DH says it is a mix of reality and anxiety. Of course, understandable but the anxiety seems directed more at third parties than any responsibility for themselves.

My ILs have never grasped at how much economics have shifted in the country over the last 30-40 years. Housing prices have increased sharply, especially for homes in high/medium performing school districts. Pensions are none existent and money to set aside for retirement has now gone into higher mortgages. The cost of college has  escalated nearly vertically, even for instate publics. They were able to live a very comfortable life when they were younger with kids as it was just not as expensive as today. Basically FIL's parents lived fairly frugally, even though the husband was a lawyer, as they were shaped by the Depression. They split their estate with their two sons. ILs grew up in the post war boom and lived an adult life based on endless expansion. In case anyone missed it, we were not thinking of an inheritance, largely because we do not need one, but DH's sibling sure could.

So yeah, I guess I begrudge them for not realizing that the road for their children is not as easy as theirs and that they may have made a set of decisions to make it even more difficult.[/quote]

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