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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sure we surprised a number of people with news of our divorce - we weren't the type of couple who aired grievances in public, so only some close friends knew what was going on.

What I married, I never believed divorce was an option.  But I don't think my ex believed this.  I believe marriage does require the work and cooperation of both partners, and when one partner checks out early and often, a relationship can't be sustained by the other for long.  [/quote]

This. And it sucks.

Ex has also checked out in many ways of parenting and one kiddo is having serious anger and emotional problems. I'm in family therapy with the kids and kiddo has own therapist and it's not getting better. Ex moved on immediately (or sooner) and moved in with gf who has partial custody of her kids, including one the same age and gender as troubled kiddo. Ex was a crappy spouse but an even worse parent. Some parents rise to the occasion in the PT parenting world of divorce, but in our case the floor keeps dropping. It's very sad. Kiddo is very disruptive at home and has been violent to younger sibs, ex just says "what do you want me to do, I don't even live there anymore". The other parent of your kids is sooooooo important. He won't commit to them or really go away, it's a dinner or two a week, enough to stir the pot but not to meet their needs. He had a bad childhood and thought that he was into being married and having kids. I think he resented the time and focus that he had enjoyed from me shifting to the kids, esp the child with sn. It wasn't fun and it wasn't about him. He isn't likely to walk away, he likes the attention from the kids and the less they see him the more they work to entertain and engage him. Sucks to be them but he is "very happy" with how his life is.

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