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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would at least try to scale back in some way.  If that is at current job or different job.

Say no for the meeting the week of Thanksgiving.  N.O.  Unless you are the only brain surgeon in the area and the patient will perish without you operating, you can say no.  I understand it might not be your culture and you might get blow back or your boss might be really mad but if you're on here posting about wanting to quit, seems worth trying saying no first and see how it goes.[/quote]

I agree with this. If you generally like working but want more time with your kids try to make that happen. Definitely don’t go to this meeting. That’s ridiculous. Get really serious about prioritizing your family and if you can’t at this job leave and get a different one before leaving the workforce. If you are serious about quitting then also start to ask about your options. I like working but for various reasons 10 hours in daycare did not work for my kids and my DH could not do much (according to him). I have been with the same employer for nearly 10 years and I am very valuable to them for my expertise in a couple specific areas and they have really worked with me to keep me. That has primarily meant a reduced hour schedule (I mostly work while the kids are in preschool/public school) but I also just don’t apologize or make excuses when I’m off with a kid or taking vacation. One of my kids has a lot of doctors appointments and No one ever gave me a hard time about those and eventually I realized- I know what meetings are important and I get my stuff done and really that’s what matters. But I’m pretty fierce about say no and declining meetings, it wouldn’t work if I wasn’t willing to do that.

Personally I’m very glad and thankful I was able to go this route rather than getting a boring part time job after being out for a while. But YMMV. [/quote]

I’m this PP and wanted to clarify I think SAH is amazing if that works for your family and what you want. I very much support all women (and men!) making whatever choice works for their family. But I also think everyone I know works too much and a lot of the time what they hate is how work is crowding out other things but don’t push back against it. I know three other women who have the same set up as me in terms of hours although they don’t do the exact same schedule and I don’t know if I would have thought to ask if I hadn’t heard about these other women’s experience. I think we need more options in this area than just the SAH vs have a big job and outsource that people focus on.[/quote]

I sometimes talk about going back to work and Dh tells me to consider myself retired.

I once told a friend that I consider myself retired and this seemed to offend her. I know she still has some student loans from grad school.

I know a few SAHMs whose husbands don’t earn that much or enough to comfortably fund college for their kids or retirement. I don’t quite get why those wives don’t go back to work. That seems irresponsible and asking for trouble. Those same women would be in a really bad position if they ever did get divorced. There would be few assets to even split.[/quote]

I wouldn’t repeat the retired comment. It makes you sound really entitled. And I SAH. [/quote]

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