Reply to Where in the DMV are parents of young kids allowed to be imperfect?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Where in the DMV are parents of young kids allowed to be imperfect?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I hate to derail this thread, but I think your description really describes me. Not competitive or judgmental about others. But hustling and probably making parenting too hard. I’d like to become more like you. Do you have any tips? Or maybe some concrete examples where what you did seemed different/lower stress/easier than what other people were doing and it still basically worked out fine?

I’m trying to lower my standards and go with the flow more but… that’s not really my comfort zone. [/quote]

DP.  I was (am, 1 kid is still at home) one of those more relaxed parents.   I think what gets you is a sort of survivorship bias.  On one hand, I am sure you've encountered multiple older kids whose parents pushed them, signed up for all sorts of right classes and activities, etc, etc, and the kids turned out amazing.  What you are missing, though, are all the kids whose parents did the same, and the kids turned out just average for their socioeconomic status.  E.g. I don't consider it amazing that a kid whose parents and grandparents are college graduates went to a relatively well known college and did well; it would be surprising if they didn't.   What you are also missing are the amazing kids whose parents didn't overextend themselves, and the kids still turned out fantastic; their parents are just much less vocal regarding their parenting approach and achievements.

I know many, many families who spent lots of money on music lessons and sacrificed a lot to manage the logistics of it, and at least half of the grown up kids don't touch their instruments at all anymore.  My husband is a professional musician, I am an amateur, but still play regularly, so we understand how important music is.  Yet only one out of our 3 kids has been taking serious music lessons.  We tried with all three, but it was pretty clear that only one was truly interested.   The other two enjoy it through their headphones.  [/quote]

Some adults go back to it, but later. I took piano lessons for years, didn't touch the instrument for a long time, and found my way back to it recently in middle age.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics