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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have an only child who my everything. My child is a toddler and approaching an age where if I’m going to have another child it needs to be now for them to really be arguably close in age. What does everyone think about having an only child verse two children? Any thoughts and feedback much appreciated.  [b]I am looking for exclusively the perspective of The benefits it would have on my child.[/b] (not necessarily for my benefit)[/quote]

Well do you want your child growing up to think they are someone's everything, that they always are first pick, that they are always the most important and then go out into the real world with that mindset. Or do you want them to learn compromise, negotiating, that life isn't always fair, how to get along with others, etc.[/quote]

This is such a tired refrain.  [b]I'm an only child and guess what I learned how to compromise, negotiate and how to get along with others.  It is possible to learn these things without a sibling[/b].  [/quote]

OP here.  Thank you, this is the kind of direct feedback I was looking for. I guess my question is not necessarily whether you need a sibling to develop well, I’m just saying/asking -would you like to have a sibling?  Our family is tiny.[/quote]

I'm an only with a teen only.

I very much wanted a sibling growing up (in like, wanted a Nintendo way....it was not an emotional challenge at all). I just liked babies. 
Thought I wanted 4 kids. 
DH (a great dad) wanted 0 or 1. We have 1. 
It was an adjustment to recalibrate, but in the end, I am very very happy to be a mom of 1, and my only is an extremely well adjusted, smart, happy kid. He has pretty much always said he doesn't want a sibling, but has also been able to articulate some things like "sometimes when I see X with his brother it makes me realize it would be fun to have a brother on a vacation." I can't be in his brain, but I do not think he does or has ever longed for a sibling, and has said he appreciates his only-hood much more than he's said things like this. We have a small family, so I sometimes get neurotic about "who will he have?" but then I realize: I too have a small family...I have my OWN family. And I love it.

As an adult with healthy but aging parents, I sometimes fantasize about having someone to share memories with (or workload, if and when that comes). But I have a very supportive DH and I also recognize, and very much appreciate, the logistical ease and bullet-dodging of not having to deal with siblings (which from an outsider's perspective, I have almost never seen be smooth sailing all the way all the time).

It's a crap shoot. Do the best you can do with what you want to do, and don't let people tell you one way is right (especially if that isn't their own lived experience). That's all we can do![/quote]

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