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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I was you a few years ago -- living the suburban dream, blah blah.  I'm now divorced.

If you go down the affair path, be prepared to end your marriage.  Not because your husband might find out -- but because once you fall for someone else and pursue that relationship, it is exceedingly difficult to return to the marriage.  Even if you physically stay, your heart and mind will be with someone else.

Unsolicited advice, but try to use this as a wake-up call to re-prioritize.  Cut out some of the schlepping if possible.  See if you can get that spark back with your husband.  If you truly can't, then leave  -- with a clean conscience.  But don't involve another person first.  It complicates things so much and the guilt and regret are enormous.

I am happy, but I wish I had not strayed when I got that itch.  I wish I had looked for other outlets for excitement and rejuvenation.  Once I was with the AP, I couldn't give him up.  The comfortable marriage couldn't compare to the new.

I am with my AP who is wonderful (contrary to the many naysayers who say affairs don't last and the feelings aren't real).  But I miss my husband and having an intact family.   We still may have wound up divorced but I would have felt more confident in the decision had I left without the involvement of a third party.

I wish you luck navigating this situation.  It is incredibly common.[/quote]

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