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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^it’s so bad that I worry about my infatuation flirting or possibly cheating on his wife with anyone other than me, I don’t even care if my own husband flirts with other people[/quote]

That guy’s poor wife.  Stay out of his marriage.

Stop yourself.  [/quote]
I haven’t started anything, I am not even a blip on his radar. It’s all in my head, it’s torture and I wish I could just stop thinking about him. I haven’t felt like this in so long, it’s exhilarating yet it’s also destroying me.[/quote]

Can't you just habituate by overdoing the thinking? And...self-caring? I don't like that you don't feel good. That's the part that has to stop. [/quote]

Op here-
I think a lot of us feel like this. I’ve got the career, darling kids, supportive husband, SFH in the suburbs - everything that I was conditioned to think was the goal. I was pushed into marriage in my mid-20s by both sets of parents. I wasn’t quite mature enough to understand who I was and what I actually wanted in life.  So now my days are 120% full with zero me time running from 6 am wake up to get ready for work, kids to school, off to professional job to pick up kids take them to activities rush them home cook, clean, pay the bills, keep life organized just to put the kids to bed and spend 10 minutes with my spouse before I want to pass out and just sleep.

So, it’s not so much the hot lusty coworker that is getting to me. It’s the realization that this is it. I checked the boxes like I was told to do and I’m not happy. Coworker is an emotional escape to the life I can’t have. And won’t have…because the reality is I will never actually cross that line to hurt my husband. That moral compass is too loud to give into what I want..

I’m thinking this is a bigger issue for many 40-something women. We often hit our “peak” later than men, but inconveniently post fertile years..[/quote] 
Agree, I fee like I am hitting my ‘peak’ now, it didn’t happen in my 20s or 30s, I was too busy establishing a career, finding a suitable partner, having babies, buying a house…Now all the dust settled and here I am, wondering how I am going to do this for another 40 years? No, I am not 100% happy, I cannot honestly say that given the opportunity, I would deny this married crush, and I am ashamed of that. [/quote]

This is called a midlife crisis[/quote]

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