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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Lost my sex drive, what to do to get it back?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you love your spouse and want to keep him, schedule it once a week. Once every 3-4 months is close to no sex. It's not sustainable.[/quote] Rest assured her husband is already going elsewhere for his unmet needs. OP: grant him an official hall pass so both of you can just stop pretending. If you ever do find your libido, then monogamy becomes a valid option once again.[/quote] If he’s already a cheater and a liar who endangers his family and doesn’t prioritize his child, why would she want monogamy with him? Divorce would be a better option. Assuming he’s a man of integrity— and nothing in her OP suggests otherwise— they can work together to have a mutually satisfying sex life, if it’s important to both of them. If he’s the kind of gross person you suggest he is, all the sex in the world won’t make a good marriage with him.[/quote] But she does not want sex, therefore monogamy is not really an option for her. Why would she divorce over something so unimportant, that she does not even want, like sex? Obviously she is just fine staying married without sex. [/quote] If her husband is cheating, my advice is that she divorce her husband over being a [i]liar[/i], who [i]doesn’t prioritize his young child[/i] and [i]endangers his spouse[/i]. None of those behaviors have anything to do with sex or it’s relative importance, only a reflection on the kind of man who behaves that way. [/quote] He deserves a hero medal for prioritizing his marriage and young child by NOT getting divorced, and instead going elsewhere to meet his normal healthy sexual needs. Again WHY divorce over something unimportant like sex? Your argument makes no sense.[/quote] Ok, PP. Keep telling yourself that you deserve a "hero medal" for cheating on your wife[/quote] NP. Keep telling yourself it makes you more moral to divorce and rip your family apart because you want to have sex. Who is the "better" person: the one who marries and divorces 3 times, or the one who stays married for 40 years and has one or two transgressions but remains in their family? What life do you want? It's not so black and white. [/quote] How about this: if sex is that important to you, don't get married. Seriously. Since time immemorial, sex lives have cooled off in the marriage context. If that's a dealbreaker for you, don't get married[/quote] DP. If sex is not important, why are you bothered that your spouse having sex with someone else?[/quote] Because the spouse still expects sex with their own spouse, and therefore exposes them to diseases. Because sex with another person leads to unplanned pregnancy, which isn’t fair on the illegitimate child or the original family. Someone might not find sex “important” but not want to live with herpes their whole life, or pay to raise their spouses illegitimate child. [/quote]
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