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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Oh we have care arranged already."  Or say you have plans already.  Or explain you were worried she would not remember or mistake the time again.

When she makes low income comments about your parents, [b]"Have you forgotten they are millionaires?[/b]" [/quote]

No to the bolded - that's a gross thing to say. Don't sink to her level. Just say "They're doing just fine, thanks." [/quote]

OP here. This is what I do. I don't get into it, since it seems catty to respond. She actually asked point-blank a few years ago (right after it happened) how much my parents were going to inherit from my grandmother and my husband reprimanded her immediately, but she kept asking, and she had made so many comments about my parents' finances I told her it was a significant amount (no value), and yet she still makes these comments.

I am a little bit defensive in general about finances. My dad created a separate life from his wealthy family long ago, since he didn't want to be a cog in the family business and do the whole corporate life. I grew up with very humble means in, like I said, a VERY low-income but beautiful town. I have worked for everything I have, even paid for college myself, and while my husband comes from wealth he has not accepted anything from his family and is stubborn to a fault about it. I used to hold a significant amount of anxiety about finances. We knew my grandmother was wealthy, but I had no idea to what scale. Hearing my MIL make all these comments about DH and his sister attending a very wealthy, exclusive private school in DC and "how you just wouldn't necessarily understand the dynamic" just makes me really upset. She acts like I pulled myself up from my bootstraps. My parents both worked professional, middle class jobs. As someone who until the last few years didn't realize how much wealth we'd be coming into, and I'm not quite sure my parents did either, I feel like I still have a huge chip on my shoulder.[/quote]

[b]Most of this is about you and your own insecurities. [/b]What happens when your son marries an annoying woman? Cycle will continue. Keep up with therapy. Respond to her texts with a thumbs up or heart. Let your husband deal with all planning.[/quote]

I disagree with this.  I have a friend who makes frequent comments about my family’s financial state.  All sorts of extreme assumptions about how we don’t have any money.  What’s weird is that we are fairly well off and I will inherit millions from my parents.  The comments were fine for a while but then it started to really bother me.  It’s extremely strange that this friend is so hung up on my family and how much she thinks we don’t have.  Some of the comments she has made are plain rude but overtime it has started to come across to me as more bizarre. [/quote]

OP here. I agree with your comment and I’m sorry you have a person like this who is constantly questioning your finances. I actually think someone who is sooo concerned (and actually verbalizes! to the individual!) about someone else’s financial state is the one with the insecurity. Like I said, yeah it makes me feel a little uncomfortable when I’m told I *can’t possibly* relate to the privileged lives of the DC elite, but to me it reads as more of a way to compare herself to my parents (who are normal, sociable, cool people who we have a great relationship with) in maybe a weird competitive way. I don’t know. Definitely reeks of her own insecurity as far as I’m concerned, or someone who is using their money to feel better about themselves. So I try and remind myself of that.[/quote]

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