Reply to How to help kids not date/marry people who trash talk their folks

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom once told me to try to avoid marrying someone who doesn't get along with his family. She said either that person is right and you'd be marrying into a family with difficult people OR the person you are dating is the difficult person. Either way it's bad news.

It was pretty good advice![/quote]

No, it's not.  It's far better to be with someone who recognizes the dysfunction of their family and take steps to establish/maintain healthy boundaries than be with someone who can't recognize they've been condition to accept dysfunction and allows their partner and kids to be subjected to it.  [/quote]

Agree with this. For years my mom has talked about my brother’s SIL and what kind of a horrible person she must be to not speak to her own mother. I’ve since realized the dysfunction in my own family and have set boundaries with my own mom.

You can’t “get along” when your family is dysfunctional. But you can learn to deal with it in a healthy way. [/quote]

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