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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I really appreciate all the comments and stories.

I am clearly coming at this in a different way than many posters. For one, I generally think that little kids' shouldn't be punished for things that happen at school. I heard from school twice last year (via email) about my son being too silly/disruptive, but I did hear often from my child just as we are chatting. In one case after being disruptive he missed a game after class and had to write an apology to the specials teacher who later did email me. To me, its done at that point. He misbehaved, he had a consequence at school, end of story. I can understand that certain behaviors might require more at home but a then 7 year old being silly/disruptive with two notes home isn't one of them. But, clearly others disagree. I am curious why. If the child was punished at school, why punish again? We absolutely spoke about what happened but not with a consequence. I understand this approach might not get immediate behavior change but it seems the most appropriate to me. Are people really punishing small kids again at home? Why?

So that was last year. He is now 8 and in 3rd grade. I have heard absolutely nothing from school this year about behavior so all my info is from him. He is openly sharing mistakes and what happened. It seems preposterous to punish him at home for that? I can't even wrap my head around that. My concern is that the behavior is tolerated over and over  so my original question was more...is this just normal school stuff that happens everywhere or are some schools more strict, and if so, how?

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It seems like you are comfortable letting the school take over disciplining your son when he is at school without your reinforcement. The school doesn’t have the authority to discipline to the degree a parent can, particularly because parents sue. If your child shows a pattern of being disruptive or obnoxious to teachers, it is literally in his best interest that he face consequences severe enough to knock it off. And those consequences aren’t coming from school so they have to come from [b]you[/b]. Your son walks into a school where adults dislike him for being disruptive in their class and your response is to escalate it in the school and not escalate it [b]with him[/b]. If you don’t see how that will never change the root problem, then you might as well keep changing the environment and see who he learns to blame for his shortcomings in the long run.[/quote]

OP here. I hear what you are saying but I this isn't really the context of the situation. The school has reached out via email twice (last year) to say he was disruptive...I don't know if I would call that a pattern. Some of what he shares with me sounds like he is being disruptive but I have zero information about anything from school. Before I create a plan to attack to help my son I do need some information about their view of his behavoir and so far the feedback is that he is going well. His progress reports are positive, he had a great relationship with his teachers last year...he even wrote them letters over the summer. Its just not as you describe. [/quote]

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