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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP...you sound like a jerk. If your child is actually applying to "selective schools" they are smart and hard working. They have good grades. They have good test scores. They already have an essay. And what is your response? They are "stubborn", "lazy", and it would  be a "waste of an application fee" to submit her application because she isn't doing what you want her to. Really, OP? You are prepared to drop thousands and thousands of dollars on a college education but you think paying under $100 to apply is a "waste"? Nice way to acknowledge your child's accomplishments.

You are acting like a jerk, and, understandably, your kid is refusing to do what you are suggesting. You've turned this into an ugly power struggle. You. The adult.

"Larla. I'm sorry how I've been acting about your essay. Your application is so strong, and your essay is good. Of course I will pay for your applications. I just got a little crazy because I know other kids are getting lots of private help with their essays. You don't need that kind of help, but it's unfair that other kids are getting it and you are not. I was just trying to think of a way to make it more fair for you, but I understand I sounded like a jerk about it. Whatever you decide, it's up to you. I hope you will think about letting someone read your essay and give feedback, but whatever you decide is ok with me. I won't bring it up again."

[/quote]

I agree that op should back off but if you think good grades and scores means a “good essay” that’s just wrong. I think op should be nice but honest-if the essay is bad it’s kinder to clue daughter in (and then shut up. ) “I like the idea but I do think it could use some polishing, honey” or “I think this is nicely written but I think the story of your first kiss might not be quite right for your essay” is much nicer than a bland “your essay is good!” If it isn’t. Having said that, I’d give constructive feedback one time snd if she doesn’t want to do anything about it entirely her call. [/quote]

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