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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I went to a small independent a Jesuit prep school that was regarded as the best school in the state. It had an incredibly kind culture and people who were mean were subjected to peer pressure to be more inclusive rather than the other way around. While mean people are everywhere, mean cultures are not inevitable, and school cultures can be dramatically different.

The culture in the DMV is one of the meanest I’ve ever encountered, and I say that as someone who grew up in another part of the country but went to grad school in DC and lived in many other places (the Bay Area, Texas, the rural mid-west, Chicago, Seattle, Boston, London, the northeast, and the Deep South) before moving back here. People here are meaner than their counterparts in other parts of of the country. They are more insecure, socially-competitive/social-climbing, and discontented than anywhere else we’ve lived. People here here have zero chill and the culture seems to foment unhappiness and outrage. It’s not surprising that toxic adults are raising mean middle-schoolers. That said, it would be nice to hear about the schools that do a better than average job of keeping the toxicity at a minimum, for boys and for girls.  Some schools are surely doing better than others.

Also, serious question for parents who have experience with both: is there less meanness in the area public middle schools? Is it easier to avoid meanness there?[/quote]

I agree so much with this, sadly! Our family is two years post small private K-12 (2 kids there since K). The social jockeying is repulsive. And that's just the parents! Kids are cliquey and unwelcoming, way too attuned to material things and wealth, and generally spoiled. Mean girl culture is real. And I could see the origins in the moms who went to great lengths to socially engineer their daughters' friendships. Gross. There was a lot of gossiping about kids -- KIDS! -- coming from parents. You learn to have sharp elbows, opt out of the drama, and just navigate it all, for a really exceptional education. And yes DC is a special kind of crazy-making hothouse. [/quote]

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