Reply to How to tell my mom to stop talking about my marriage and DH

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here, this is not about money at all. Yes, she provided free childcare labor for some time, but we started giving her money monthly so she can have her own money to use. We tried several daycare places before. It just didn't work out. My toddler could not adjust and I was told maybe I should wait until she's a little older to try again. That is why we had to ask for her help again. She has her own home in another state. My DD is 19 months now, so we will start her at a preschool at 2 years old, hopefully by that time her separation anxiety is a lot better. My mom is doing us a huge favor right now. So people telling me to kick her out is not the solution, when we are the one that need her help. I guess i'm seeking for advice on what I can do internally to ignore her comments and not let it get to me. I know that she's not going to change. My husband is not aware of any of this, so it's not affecting him.[/quote]

I guarantee your DH knows this.  And it's definitely affecting him because her comments are affecting you.   You may survive the next few months but your marriage will not.[/quote]

Oh calm down.   Your DH should be rightly pissed that your MIL is a B to him, but he is also dependent on her providing childcare and realizes she's doing a service that you need.   If your marriage is strong you will survive these remaining 4 months til the kid turns 2.  I agree she is highly toxic if she's badmouthing other grandma to a 1 year old, but kids that age probably won't remember much, and you can set your guidelines in the future when you're less dependent on her.

At the same time, I  question OP's statement that this isn't about money.  If you already tried several daycares and none are working out, I wonder if the OP is picking really low-quality daycares.  Most kids have a rough spell, but adjust.  This won't magically go away when the kid turns 2...[/quote]

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