Reply to For married people: how often do you think of an ex or "the one that got away"?

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Reply to "For married people: how often do you think of an ex or "the one that got away"?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe daily. Maybe a week or so goes by. I'm not sure.

I think, somewhere in the recesses of my subconscious, an alternate reality lives on where we're still together. [/quote]

Yeah, this is me too.

It doesn't help that high school sweetheart pops up every few years and drops some kind of "I had to tell you about XYZ because only you would understand." I do feel like we have a unique and lasting bond. I don't think we would have been happy in reality.

My husband had an affair a few years ago when our kids were young. At the time high school sweetheart had just ended a long term relationship. I definitely thought, hey, I could confide in HSS, he would buoy my self-esteem. I didn't really care if I hurt my husband at that point, but I thought about how I would be enmeshing HSS in my problems just for an ego boost and I realized that was selfish and wrong. So I didn't reach out.

Also, I think I understood deep down that it's the WONDERING that's fun. There's no reason to throw a bucket of cold reality onto it.
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