Reply to MILs only -- and only if you do not like your DIL -- why?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As you grow older, OP, you will realize that all these things that irritate your about your MIL are easily avoided and not worth fighting and thinking about. Read what you wrote and you will see that drama is mutual. You two are feeding off each other. So, just don't answer several phone calls, stop insisting that you are raising your kids to a "higher standard," disappear when dishes are to be done. Don't go on several trips, let you DH and kids go on their own. Let her baby your husband on those few occasions, what harm is there?  You are criticizing her so much, and truly it doesn't seem bad at all.  But, it is good that you are venting. Is she foreign?  Or Italian or Jewish American? It kind of sounds like it. So, my advice, from knowing I am the favorite DIL, just avoid, and nod and let it go. Oh, and parents do play favorites with their own children all the time. [/quote]

If I made the effort to drive to my MIL's house with my family and she had me washing dishes like Cinderella while DH relaxed, that would be a huge problem.

I don't even know what to say to this.

DH would also know that he'd better step in otherwise it would be the last visit for a long time. I don't think it's healthy for children to see their mother disrespected like that. Nobody has to like their DILs, but at a minimum you have to treat each other with respect. [/quote]

Here’s a thought: sit your arse down and don’t wash the dishes. Open your mouth and say to DH and to her, “How it’s not going to be is Jim relaxes while I do ‘women’s work’ in the kitchen. I’m happy to discuss all that needs to be done with cooking, cleaning and chores during our visit and do my share. Let’s get on the same page about this.”

Like, why would you do that during the visit and then “punish” her by never visiting again, vs. telling her straight up you weren’t going to act like a 1950s housewife from the get-go?[/quote]

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