Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One parent loves the kids more than themselves.  It’s not the one that cheated.

That parent will carry the emotional burden and the fallout from it so that they can protect their sons from repeating the pattern of their father and future generations.  The emotional damage from learning your parent was a cheater has generational and huge emotional consequences.

I will protect my kids with my life and, unfortunately, that included biting my tongue about his affair.

Unfortunately, that time I was checked out and emotionally wrought from the news and he got to appear like the devoted, fun one.[/quote]

They will find out on their own some day, and the impact of that will be worse. [/quote]

Nah.  If they reconciled and parents went on to have a happy marriage, it’s highly unlikely.  Most people that reconcile tell nobody except a therapist.  You tell one other person and the chance they keep it to themselves is almost zero.

People take this stuff to the grave.

The one person I know whose father confessed when they were middle aged were well adjusted and proud that their parents stuck it out and they had a happy family life.  [/quote]

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