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[quote=Anonymous]Wow this sounds so familiar. We just got back from a beach trip w/ rigid family members. They are set in their ways and they assume that everyone else likes to follow the same schedule of activities/eating that they do. It's so aggravating when we try to tell them how we would prefer to do things and try to compromise and they are so rigid that they can't come to a happy medium w/ us.

It sounds like you've already explained things to them pretty well/in a pretty direct way so I think unfortunately they are not likely to change at this point and therefore you should stop doing this trip w/ them.

You could give it one last shot by being very frank w/ them that you do not enjoy this vacation as much anymore because they always expect you to do things their way and don't listen and respect that you have different preferences than they do. I don't think I would be able to be that frank w/ my in-laws or parents so I understand if you aren't able to either. But I think that's your only shot of anything changing/still being able to do the trip in the future and make it somewhat fun for your family.

I think you have to be very honest w/ them well before the trip talk to them about each instance that always comes up year after year and how/why you want it to change: "Every year when we go on this trip you always comment about how we slept too late/missed sunrise, etc. That commentary makes us feel badly. We like to sleep in on vacation. Please don't comment on how late we've slept or that we've missed anything by sleeping in anymore." and "You always expect us to go to the beach with you in the morning even though we've told you many times that we would prefer to do other activities in the mornings. We do not enjoy going to the beach in the morning. Please stop expecting us to go early and please don't comment on it anymore. We would be glad to help you set up your things on the beach in the morning but we do not want to stay out there every morning. We prefer to go in the late afternoon." and "please stop packing food for us to eat lunch on the beach. We do not want to eat lunch on the beach and when you pack food for us that we didn't ask for and then make comments about wasted food, it makes us feel badly."  etc etc about each and every issue.

See to me all that honesty would be too much. I don't think I could do it. I'd be too afraid of hurting feelings and damaging relationships. So I think I'd just stop going on this trip. But I think if you are willing to have an honest conversation like that, that's your only chance of anything changing. No guarantee it would change even w/ that or it's possible if you had a conversation like that THEY wouldn't even want to go on the trip with YOU anymore because their feelings would be hurt. But if you think they might actually listen to feedback like that, give it a try.[/quote]

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